We hear it all the time and have experienced plenty... being surrounded by people who seem to suck the air you breath out of your lungs.
You get together with friends and there will always be someone who sets the atmosphere to doom itself with gloom. The sad thing is that most of the time some people are clueless to their negativity. They have lived their whole lives under a grey cloud with rain that even when the sunshine is out they do not feel it's warmth.
Sometimes the most positive person out there can still be trapped under a grey cloud if they do not see and understand how negativity goes around and the signs to know it is there.
One of the main signs is how others handle a positive situation.
For example, your dream job came knocking at your door offering everything you have ever wanted on a professional level but miss Debbie Downer next to you starts with all these questions instead of genuinely congratulating you. "Aren't you afraid of all that responsibility?", "What if you fail?", "Wouldn't it mean less time with your family?"... the questions go on and on and then you slowly start asking these same questions after you had already felt completely ready to take on the job.
Another sign is oversensitivity. This is a very damaging yet common effect in a pessimist's life. You can't give someone honest feedback, comments or constructive criticism without them taking it way out of proportion and have you feeling like you are walking on eggshells after that.
Maintaining relationships and jealousy is another sign. Negative people at times think they are being excluded, that their friends do not like them...that plain third wheel feeling.
Now...if this is completely draining your positivity and outlook on your life then it might be time to part ways. It is always tough to leave people behind but if not now then eventually resentment starts lurking.
Walk away from negativity... step into the sunshine again...
Start taking more time to yourself, practice self care, stay busy with the friends and relationships who contribute to your mental and emotional health. The ones who cheer you on even when you feel at your worst.
If you want to just rip off the band-aid...cut them off... yes they might need some sort of closure but if so do it in a public spot. If you just want to cut the cord then do it! No judgement here, you need to do what is best for you...stop talking to them, block them off your social media.
Most of all know that when you are done it should be definite! No turning back and no cracked door for them to slip through.
But we are all friends, our mutual friends...what happens to them?
Mutual friends will stay mutual friends but that can change if (on their own judgement) notice and decide that there is a very good reason why you made your decision. If you get invited out to social gatherings and find out miss Downer is joining then you have to make the call. However, true friends should not take it personally. You should have already talked to them and had closure with your decision.
Next time you feel the weight of someone else's pessimism on your shoulders know that it is time to let go. Don't be afraid, for it is your life, your heart and mental health at stake.
Do you girl!
Xo
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